Robert Plant was born in 1948.  Jimmy Page was born in 1944.  "Rock and Roll" appears on Led Zeppelin's fourth album (which is untitled).  It was released in November 1971.

Which brings me to the 2003 Cadillac Escalade, powered by a Vortec 6.0-liter engine that produces 345 hp @ 5,200 rpm and 380 lb.-ft. of torque @ 4,000 rpm.  It's big.  Substantial.  Moderately ostentatious.  And it rocks and rolls.  Well, at least for those of us who remember picking up a vinyl version of the record in question.

The age of the typical Escalade buyer is 50.  Which makes that person even younger than Plant and Page.  The average income is $150,000.  Which makes the person closer to Plant and Page than, well, me.

These various factors must be kept in mind when thinking about the Escalade.  It shouldn't be considered from the point of view of someone who is going to take one look at the sticker for vehicle in question here—with an optional rear-seat DVD entertainment system, 17-inch chrome wheels, XM satellite radio, and trailer package—and see the total price, including destination, of $56,600 and let out a shout that, oh, Robert Plant might make when stubbing his toe.

When you climb inside the vehicle and put your bottom on those leather seats, you're almost there.  Almost, because you've got to adjust the seat (10-way powered) and the pedals just right for you.  Because when you put the key in the ignition, the adjustments kick in, and if, oh, someone exceedingly short or tall had put the settings into memory prior to your sitting there, you're going to find yourself going for a ride you're not interested in taking.  And speaking of climbing inside, you're in a veritable room: it seats eight; if you remove all but the front seats, there's 104.6-ft³ of cargo space.  If the surfaces weren't so well covered with nice material, it would probably echo inside.

One more thing about the "climb" to get inside.  With a 10.6-in. ground clearance, you do have to make something of an ascent.  The running board that ought to be helpful is unfortunately too narrow to be of much use.

Presumably, when someone goes to the dealership to pick up the Escalade, they spend a goodly amount of time going over all the buttons and features and functions that the vehicle is full of.  (My colleague accidentally activated OnStar, and when the nice person who answered the call was advised of the error, my associate was told to hit the disconnect button. . .which he couldn't find.)  But once you have it straight (and I should note that the guide in the glove box doesn't really provide as good instruction as it should), you're ready to roll.  (I promise: no more rock and roll references.)

Although this is a car with a 116-in. wheelbase, it is actually rather easy to drive in traffic.  There is no sense that this is a battleship wallowing.  The vehicle in question has full-time all-wheel drive (employing a Borg-Warner one-speed full-time open-differential transfer case), as well as the StabiliTrak system that helps compensate for those sudden steering wheel changes of direction (e.g., caused by some person who shouldn't actually be driving a vehicle doing something stupid in front of you).  You, of course, always signal your intentions, and if those behind you don't note the mammoth turn signal blinking on the back of the vehicle, then they might notice the blinking red arrow in the relevant side-view mirror.  As backing up can sometimes be tricky in such a big vehicle, there are ultrasonic sensors in the rear fascia and audio/visual indicators in the cabin that are activated when the vehicle is put into "R."

There are a few things that are a bit troubling.  Like a large piece of ductwork that intrudes into the passenger's foot well.  Or the fact that the "wood grain" trim on the center console and on the IP—and these are both rather expansive—just doesn't look sufficiently wood-like (perhaps an alternative material to wood should be used to indicate "upscale").  The Bulgari-designed analog clock seems like an odd touch in a vehicle that has a digital clock, too.

The Bose audio system is superb.  In fact, if one dials in XM channel 40, Deep Tracks, and cranks up the volume, and there is a Zep tune. . . well, you know what I mean.