It’s a rare manager who, at least once in a while, isn’t firmly convinced that his department’s performance would perk up dramatically if one employee or another were quietly throttled.

More realistically, he settles for occasionally blowing his top…resorting to sarcasm…or ill-disguised acerbic humor. The result is a foregone conclusion: a sulking staff with drooping morale whose performance hits another low, triggering the entire cycle anew—and a king-size headache for the manager.

Control your temper is the easiest advice in the world to give, but among the hardest to take. How do you do it?

One way is to compel yourself to back off from the immediate situation and try to see it objectively, preferably in a larger context. So Miss Jones misplaced some important correspondence. Will empires fall? Is the few minutes’ delay to find it really sufficient reason to ruin your day and digestion? Really?

Another technique is suggested by an incident in the life of John D. Rockefeller. A top executive of the Standard Oil Company once made an error in judgment that cost his firm more than $2 million. Understandably, colleagues of Rockefeller decided to avoid their chief on the day he heard the news, lest he vent his wrath on them.

The exception was Edward Bedford, a Rockefeller partner. He entered Rockefeller’s office prepared to listen to a long harangue against the offending executive, only to find the head of the Standard Oil empire busily writing at his desk.

After some minutes in which the only sound was the scratching of his pen, John D. Rockefeller looked up at his visitor. “Oh, it’s you, Bedford,” he said calmly. “I suppose you’ve heard about our loss.” Bedford nodded. “I’ve been thinking it over,” Rockefeller said, “and before I ask the man in to discuss the matter, I’ve been making some notes.” He handed the sheet of paper on which he had been writing to his partner. Bedford reported it this way:

“Across the top of the page was written, ‘Points in favor of Mr. ­­­­______.’ There followed a long list of the gentleman’s virtues, including a brief description of how he had helped the firm make the right decision on three separate occasions that had earned many times the cost of his recent error.

“I never forgot that lesson. In later years, whenever I was tempted to rip into anyone, I forced myself first to sit down and thoughtfully compile as long a list of his good points as I possibly could. Invariably, by the time I finished my inventory, I would see the matter in its true perspective and keep my temper under control. There is no telling how many times this habit has prevented me from committing one of the costliest mistakes any manager can make—losing his temper.

“I commend it to anyone who must deal with people.”

Sell That Idea Positively
Two groups of people were exposed to identical presentations on the benefits and drawbacks of a common household product—with one exception. Group A was first informed of the advantages of owning the product, then told of the drawbacks. This order was reversed with Group B. Several weeks later, both groups were questioned. Group A had bought almost twice as much of the product as Group B.

Psychologists call this the “primacy effect.” That is, what we hear first lingers with us longest. If you list the benefits of an idea before the drawbacks, you create a positive “that’s for me” state of mind. Start with the drawbacks and you create an attitude of resistance.

For example, if your plan to streamline office procedure is expensive, you might admit it this way. “My plan will free one secretary and two clerk-typists for more important work and save us over $25,000 a year by eliminating many duplicate records, even though it’s a little expensive to set into action.” The benefits “smother” the drawback.

Try it next time you want to sell an idea.

Don’t Sell Your Instincts Short
As the business world grows more complex and reliance on sophisticated tools like computers increases, fewer and fewer people have the confidence to call on that still little voice within them—their instincts—when decision-making time rolls around.

Believing that everything can be expressed quantitatively, or ought to be, they wince at the notion that good ideas and wise decisions can be based on anything so unscientific as a “sixth sense.” “After all,” they ask, “when you have access to a computer or can draw up statistics, why fly by the seat of your pants?”

For one thing, computers deal in data and not every question is readily answered with facts and figures. People, on the other hand, deal with ideas.

In many ways, using one’s instincts is a creative act. It is a summoning of past experiences, accumulated knowledge, analogous reasoning and combining everything you’ve ever learned, read and heard to analyze a problem and form a judgment. Much of this is done with such blinding speed that you are not even aware of what you are doing, so you think of it as “instinct” or “a hunch.”

When in doubt about a course of action, therefore, don’t be afraid to rely on your instincts. You’ve spent a lifetime perfecting them.